It’s the beginning of the most magical times of the year- but sometimes, the days just feel heavy. It’s hard to find gratitude in the middle of feeling exhausted, in pain and worn thin.
I used to believe that gratitude meant bending over backward to do things for others so that they knew you cared about them and that you had to be positive no matter what. Now I understand that Gratitude is peaceful. It’s about finding small slivers of peace, even when life doesn’t look the way I hoped.
The Reality of “Hard Holidays”
Every Holiday there is pressure to keep up with holiday traditions. In my family, there are so many traditions to choose from. For the sake of this upcoming holiday, Thanksgivings’ tradition is my grandmother’s yeast rolls. Every single person in my family expects these rolls to be at the dinner table for thanksgiving. What used to be something that was done by my mother and I, has now been passed down to me alone. What my family isn’t aware of is how painful it is for me to make these yeast rolls. My hands find it difficult to maneuver the rolling pin after a few hours and cutting the dough into shapes using a glass becomes impossible at a certain point when my hands can no longer hold a grip. I felt a little ashamed for asking my mom to help me again last year and immensely guilty because I should have been able to completely take it over, but I couldn’t.
Due to food being one of the most important parts of Thanksgiving, it also serves as a reminder every year of how far (or how little) I’ve come in my chronic illness journey. There are so many foods that I have to avoid or to eat less of, than in previous years. There is still a level of grief that I don’t outwardly express but that I’m silently battling throughout the day. The pain that some of those delicious foods could bring to me is a brutal reality served on a beautiful dish. It can feel isolating and sometimes it makes me sad.
So where does gratitude fit into all of that? For me, it starts with permission — permission to feel everything, not just the happy parts.
What Gratitude Looks Like When Life Isn’t Picture-Perfect
Gratitude can be a quiet morning with your coffee before anyone wakes up, enjoying a movie with your child, even if you spent the morning in pain. It can be enjoying laughing with family during a holiday meal, resting without guilt, reading a book quietly during some free time, or just surviving another day — because that’s a real accomplishment.
Gratitude doesn’t erase the hard parts — it reminds you that the good parts of your life are still there, and they still exist.
How to Nurture Gratitude During the Holidays
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- Simplify Traditions — Choose one or two meaningful things that mean the most to you instead of trying to do it all.
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- Rest Without Guilt — Your presence matters more than your productivity, so rest when you need to, so that you can be present when you can.
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- Ask for Help Early — Let others carry part of the holiday load — it’s an act of grace, not weakness.
This season, I am learning that gratitude isn’t about perfection. It’s about seeing beauty in your imperfect life and reminding yourself about the good that can be found there, If the holidays feel hard, you are not alone. There’s still room for small moments of light, and they’re enough.
What small thing are you grateful for today, even if it’s just getting through the day?
Share your “tiny joys” in the comments — sometimes the little things we notice help someone else feel seen.